That's the great thing: We've got artichokes. What kind?

There are things in life you look forward to
There are things you can't wait to see.
One such thing was the Agentina/Holland game
So I watched it on German TV.

People say that was like watching paint dry,
When describing things that were a bore.
Well this game was like watching paint already dry
In the hope it might dry a bit more.

I could not understand what was being said,
The players seemed to be lazing about,
It was like watching live Big Brother
When they've blocked the speaking bits out.
My mind began to wonder,
Sol Maridonna was at the ground.
Did he buy that Argentina shirt
Or have an old one just lying around?

Rudd van Nielselroy's hair looked terrible,
Maybe him some shampoo I will send.
This season he's had so much hair dryer treatment
That it's given him split-ends.

Felt sure Holland would play Arjen Robben
But they couldn't have been less keener.
Think they've started to question his loyalty
Since they found out his middle name was Tina.
(Like Argentina...)

After what seemed like a lifetime
Of course the game ended up drawn.
I wished I had stayed in my hotel
And watched 90 minutes of porn.

At least then I would have seen some foreign people,
Sweating and straining like hell.
FIFA's seeding system has worked this year
But it's worked too bloody well.

Go and listen to Baddiel & Skinner's World Cup Podcast. It is the holy grail of podcasts.